Parenting Zen

I don't actually know what zen or feng shui or any of that eastern stuff is, but I will say I've been trying to live in the parenting moment.

My friend Evan, who I once described as the most nostalgic person I know, told me once that her mother was even more nostalgic. Her mom, Meryl, a lady close to my heart who recently rescued Raph, Makili, and I from the sleeping in a mosquito cloud, would mourn for the 18 month Evan that grew up, the 2-year old, the 3 year old and so on. She would miss every age of her children. I've been trying to live more like that. To enjoy the age that we're in and not spend my time looking forward to when he'll talk, nap better, communicate, potty train, play soccer, etc.

I actually am in love with the smile he gives Raph when he sees him for the first time on a given day.

So in my effort to live in the now, let me start by saying I really do love this age. Makili is soaking up words and signs and trying so hard to communicate. He signs more, all done, eat (which looks like "make me puke"), hot, cold, up, help, fan, and probably more that I can't think of. He has some utterances that he uses for words, such as apple, watermelon, outside, daddy, berry, broom, etc. He'll tell you that a dog goes "woof, woof" (thanks to Charlie), a cat says "meow" (though his sounds more like a screech), and a horse says "neigh," and he'll do the "choo choo" while pretending to pull the whistle on the train. He will no longer say that cow says "moo." Apparently, he's moved on from that trick. If you ask him to dance, he will shuffle his little feet. If you tell him to get the mosquito, he will do a wide purposeful clap. He does all the signs for wheels on the bus, patty-cake, etc. He loves singing and any time I sing and stop he will vigorously sign "more." I've got quite a little trained seal. It's very cute.

And I actually am in love with the fact that he insisted on eating his snack while wearing Sam's helmet today.

He LOVES to eat, though he still does his share of nursing. Number one food is still watermelon, followed by beans, brown rice, cereal (now with soy milk), beets, cooked carrots and broccoli. He will NOT eat tomatoes (though he always sinks his teeth into them so that they rot), and rarely will eat cheese. He also loves to eat an apple. Now that we're in apple season, I can give him a whole apple and I swear eating it will entertain him for an hour. He loves to pick things in the garden, especially green tomatoes and green beans. He does like to chew on the green beans. He still nurses quite a bit - definitely first thing in the morning and last thing at night, but many times in between as well.

He has a mouthful of teeth. I thought we'd hold out at 12, but no they just kept coming and to be honest I have no idea how many teeth he has now...16? We can barely remember to brush them all. We're working on that, but as you may know, I'm not known for the whole bathing/cleanliness thing. I went for years of my life bathing only so as to wash my hair. I'm trying to do better as a parent, but well you know some things get skipped over here and there, like a tooth-brushing now and again. But we're working on the bedtime routine, so we're trying to make it a normal nightly thing.

He still sleeps great at night and has been napping very regularly for two hours in the afternoon. We've started putting him in his crib at bedtime instead of laying with him and falling asleep ourselves at 7:30. This has been going very well and he only cries for a minute or two usually.

And I actually am in love with this little face that he makes when he knows he is being naughty.

He LOVES reading. His favorite books (which I read over and over and over. I know... zen parenting - relax, enjoy it) are PeekaWho, Mr Wishy Washy (still?), Noisy farmyard, MooMoo Brown Cow, Moo, Baa, La la la, Baby Faces (because I act out all the baby emotions too), I Love You Sun, I Love You Moon, and Spots and Dots.

As for favorite activities, riding on the lawn mower is definitely at the top of the list. (Try to avoid the urge to leave comments about the lack of helmets around here. We know, we're irresponsible, but if makes you feel better he wears ear protection.) He also loves to ride around in his free dump vehicles. And to go down the slide. He has also taken to emptying toys out of baskets and then getting himself stuck in them as seen below. Today at the McCalls', he leaned over the kid "pack and play" to reach something, his feet left the floor and he got totally stuck balanced on his waist. He couldn't get in our out so he started screaming until I came and helped him. It was all I could do not to go get the camera first. That is apparently the mom I am, as seen below.

And I am totally head over heals, sickenly, disgustingly, whole-heartedly, blissfully in love with this exuberance, playfulness, silliness, total joy.

On a Lighter Note...

Ignoring my outburst yesterday, I'll move right onto nicer things, like the fact that Makili is 11 months old today. Already. Unbelievable! Can you believe he'll be a year old in a month! I can't. We went up to visit Larry and Ann for the weekend and Raph has been helping out with siding the roof. Makili unfortunately has another fever, though has been pretty good-natured none-the-less.


Makili has been really into pushing his car around backwards, though he can't turn it. He pushes it from one end of the room to the other until he runs into something and then he whines until someone comes and turns it around for him. He gets into moods where that is all he wants to do. Or he'll want to try to walk back and forth between Raph and Ann over and over. He is still pretty cautious about the whole walking thing though he is definitely testing the water.
He has developed great coordination lately and wants to do whatever it is that we are doing. For example, here he is stirring . After all, he saw daddy doing it.

He's been quite the love-bug, with giant hugs all around. He'll reach for anyone that will carry him around incessantly, though he especially like to watch cooking.

Eating is officially Makili's favorite pastime. An art if you will. Bananas the preferred medium. He can down the bananas too. He freaks out when he sees them and yells "du, du,du" which means, "I want that!" If I say "Do you want a banana,?" He smiles and says "Da! Da!" which means "Yes! Yes!"


This is the "du" which I hear ALL day long. But look at those luscious lips.

And this is what you get when you don't provide wanted objects
He's been a fun little boy lately and I love him to death. I'm so lucky.

What I Imagined

I've said before that when I was pregnant I really couldn't conceptualize having a baby. I was very absorbed in the pregnancy but I really was truly unprepared for the actual baby part. Now however, we've arrived at the time where Makili is the baby I think maybe I imagined. The last 6-8 weeks have been awesome. Every day, every week he is more playful, interactive, smart. He's fascinated by everything, able to do so much, and growing too fast.

He's a highly adept crawler. When he turned 8 months old, I though he was on the cusp on walking. He has pulled up on furniture for a long time and cruised around for a long time too, but once crawling became efficient for him, forget it. He zips around
the room, over obstacles, pushes open doors. Maybe he won't walk too soon. Who
knows. Why walk when you can get everywhere crawling?



Raph hasn't been at work this week which has been truly blissful. I enjoyed the last week SO much- between my parents visit, Raph's time off, absolutely idyllic weather, Makili consistently sleeping all night.

Raph puts Makili to bed every night, and the last few days he's been putting him down for naps too. Yes, I realize I'm in trouble when Raph goes back to work, but he's just so good at it. It takes him half the time it takes me! I am so thankful that MAkili is sleeping through the night. It makes life so much better. I have a few hours to get things done, still get at least seven straight hours of sleep, wake up and bring Makili to bed to snuggle with us first thing in the morning. It has been wonderful.


He's such an inquisitive little boy. He wants to look in everything, open every door, investigate the nuances of each curve, crack, and hole. He has his father's focus too, concentrating on things for what seem like an eternity to me. He is relatively independent (if your in the room), easily amused, and everyday more interactive.

He points to show you where to go.

And shows you his treasures.


And LOVED spending time with his grandparents.

Nine Months Already

and what a nine months it's been. We've opened a new page recently. All of sudden, Makili is big. Today for example I learned that he can crawl up stairs. I blame his buddy Morgan for that one. Bad influence. I was astounded nonetheless! Everyone says he's going to walk soon, but we'll see how soon. He definitely has gotten into crawling and will crawl anywhere to get to me. There is no such thing as private bathroom time, a quick escape into the kitchen to get something done. I have a baby hanging on my pants and collar of snot and drool pretty much at all times.



But this growth is coming through in all sorts of ways. He opens every door, has long spells of independent play, wants to sit at the table at meal time with everyone else, pretends to laugh (sounds more like coughing) so that you'll laugh too, is just so darn interactive it is amazing. He likes to turn pages, open boxed, remove parts, hold things. He loves eating, whether it is him or anyone else. We have just started some solid foods - apples, bananas, carrots, and pears. Boy does he dig it! Giving him a piece of an unpeeled banana is quite an entertaining thing. He'll sucks the banana right out of the middle and won't remove it from his mouth until every fleshy banana speck is either in his mouth or on him.





The warmer weather certainly makes him happy too. He loves to be outside, and I've even gotten to the point that I'm letting him crawl around a little out there, getting those fleeces dirty... He has some of his grandpa genes...the way he was shutting his eyes and tilting his head back to suck in the sun...DST (Direct Sun Time) When my Dad would come to Hawaii he would insist on certain amounts of DST.



And then there's the whole cuteness factor. For example, look at his green eyes. Have you seen anything to cute. I am really into this age - have been loving it. He has been sleeping better (bed at 7:30, one crying session for 15 min. around 11:00, then sleeping to 4:30, nurse, sleep with us until wake-up at 6:30-7:00.), he's been playful (first we learn to walk, then we learn to trot...a favorite), he sucking in everything - i see his brain working learning how to interact, learning words. He's been snuggly, sweet, and funny. His sense of humor has really blossomed! He laughs if I wear sunglasses, a towel on Raph's head, if I talk funny. I am so lucky to be able to be home with him.

Eight Months

I don't have the normal deluge of photographs to celebrate with this month. Raph is in Japan visiting his brother and he got to take the camera, so we've returned to film around here. It's also been a LONG week. We're both tired of being sick, though we are both starting to feel better. Now we just have hacinkg coughs and snotty noses. I might actually let Makili out of the house soon, since it has been so cold and he so sick that we pretty much haven't even gone on a walk in weeks. Nor have I gone running. Yes running. I was running for a while there, and the last time I ran I ran 1.2 miles without stopping once, which is like a record for me. But then the weather turned and rained non-stop for a week, then snowed non-stop for a few days making the road icy, and then I got sick and it's been all over. Damn.



Back to Makili. He is an adept crawler, though he always prefers to stand and try to get places by holding onto the furniture. He also really like to practice picking things up while standing, crouching down, standing up, crouching down, standing up. I think he might be walking soon, but we'll see. He LOVES books with flaps in them, like "Ears, Toes, and Nose" (thanks Kate, Guy and Elio). He will crawl off my lap to get to that book if I try to read another one, though he will patiently sit through others too, like the Boynton collection Raph's cousin Sarah gave us. What a lucky kid!



We've entered into mommy land too, where I am the only thing he wants. He cries if I leave the room, like always, ahhhh... He will crawl right after me, whether into the bathroom or the kitchen (it isn't too hard to find me in the 741 square feet of our house!)

Raph and I have been working on teaching him to wave "hi" and "bye" and sometimes I swear he does it. I also swear occassionally he'll try to make an animal sound when we're reading the noisy farm book. I'm pretty sure he knows the following words: look, help, up, booba, dadddy, and maybe some others. We do sign language with some of those words and I'm hoping he might start signing back at some point, maybe this month?

Milestones

7 months. 200th post on my blog. We've come a long way. He crawls. He pulls up on things. He doesn't put things in his mouth (the only baby I know.) He is starting to really like his mom a LOT. He concentrates and investigates. He loves to hold food, anything food, and somehow he can tell food from non-food without tasting it. He will stare at a pretzel for a long time, turning it over, feeling its delicate curves and rough salt. Today we gave him an avocado peel and he really liked that slimy new texture. He loved that so much his socks turned green. Oh well. He loves music class. He does not like that there aren't breasts waiting for him at every moment of the day. He does not like it if you show him the pacifier when he wants to nurse. He likes your hands to be waiting to help him stand. He knows the word "help" which is said to as we offer our hands. We're just starting baby sign language. I thought I would start with milk, since he loves that so much, but he's too hysterical when he wants to nurse to look at my hands or even put an inch between him and my chest, so we gave up and are starting with "help" and "more." We'll see how that goes. He still likes being outside even when it is frickin cold or there is a foot of fresh snow. We went on a hike in the newly fallen snow this last week. So beautiful. He likes the BIG goodnight moon book, the book with the flaps that hide body parts, the puppy our friends Ryan and Jess gave him that talks, mom's necklace, and matchbox cars. We like the fact that he is finally sleeping through the night again, or at least 6-8 hours at a clip. Thank you sleep gods. He's a pretty happy camper, and we really can't complain either.