30 Days of Photos: Day 14

Not my best day and not my best photo either.

Horrible Mother. That is pretty much how I felt today. The day started off with a squabble with Raph over the computer. Not at all necessary, but I've been computer-deprived all weekend while he was finishing a big project for the class he's taking at UNH, and just wanted to do the e-mail/blog run through before school today, but he was in a hurry and taking the computer and I was feeling underappreciated for all the effort I put in to give him lots of time to work on his project all weekend, which was in essence no break for me. Any way, that started the day.

Then the worst thing happened. I stopped at the library to pick up some new books (Beyond the Rainbow Bridge and the Einstein bio, both of which I'm very excited about) and decided to stop in at the coffee shop to say hi to the owners, with whom I'm friendly. So of course I have to get a cup of coffee, you know support the community. And often I actually crave coffee, but today I really wasn't in the mood, and almost didnt go, but figured oh I should stop in and say hi. So I did, and I got my small decaf with room for cream and I am trying to add the cream, while holding Makili, he grabbed the cup and spilled it all over both of us. He started screaming and I thought it was his hand that he had used to grab the cup with. I was embarressed and apologizing and it wasn't until a minute later, that a man there pointed out that the coffee had spilled on his leg too and he was wet. The coffee had collected at the top of his booties and gave him a second degree burn around his little ankle, but I didn't even know that until we got to the car and I went to change his clothes. He had long ago stopped crying and I thought he was fine. imagine my horror to pull off his sock and find skin blistered and missing. Horrible. Traumatic. I spent a large part of my otherwise tough day crying about it even though Makili seems to have gotten over it just fine. (He really liked playing with the Neosporin box.) Nadine, the woman I babysit for, is a nurse-practitioner. She checked it out and said he'd be okay and that it happens to everyone, but it still felt pretty shitty and i still feel like a second class mom today, despite hearing everyone's horror stories all day long. It's like I was inducted into the "real mom" club today. Everyone else appears to have had awful things like this happen too, but I can't say that makes me feel much better.