Sorry.

Sorry for the long disappearance. This has been a tough week. I apparently have the Swine and have since Saturday, though it didn't fully manifest itself until the afternoon after I had run my first 5k! and spent too few short hours with my brother and Amanda and Kaylee. I have been sick since then, and we decided to start on potty training n Sunday anyway, since it appeared as though I wouldn't be able to go anywhere anyway.

Potty training! Whew! Who knew it was so tough and such a pain. Makili has done REALLY well in the house. We're transitioning from the potty seat to the "big potty" at the moment. He's doing really well except that he uses the potty an unbelievable amount. Between 6:00am and noon today he peed a dozen times and pooped 4 or 5 times (and pretty big poops too!). I know that is more detail than you all need, but seriously, the poor kid was practically on the pot the whole morning. He has not embraced the whole potty thing outside of the house, however. That has been a whole other struggle. So we've decided to do potty training in our house only for a little while. Maybe it will cut down on the poopy diapers I have to change, but maybe not. Either way, he's done really well and we don't want to toss that progress away. We're also not ready to be trapped in the house for fear of him peeing all over his pants every time we leave the house.

My kids have been growing and changing so fast it is killing me. We lost our camera battery charger (we have another one ordeR) and we have a serious space issue on our computer, so the images that normally are the meat and potatoes of my posts are going to be scant a little longer.

Remick is getting so big. It makes me tearful just thinking about it. Since we decided long ago that we only wanted two biological children (and made that official by getting my tubes tied at Remick's birth) I am SUPER emotional about everything he does. "This is the last time I'll ever have a baby that will..." The kid is a total menace as a sleeper and this has not helped the sickness for me, but boy does he make up for it in unbelievable sweetness at other times. He'll just sit there and look and me and smile at me and talk to me for hours. It is absolutely delicious. I laid with him on the bed the other day while he was doing this, and I thought to myself "please, please, please remember this moment forever. the way his little smile emerges and his eyes shine just because he sees you. Please remember this little face and the way this makes you feel." I don't even know if it is possible to remember them like this. I look at pictures of Makili from a year ago, and I swear I don't remember him looking like that. I so terribly want to remember his little face just as it is right now.

Makili is a menace in all sorts of ways, being two and all. Reverse psychology is pretty much the only way to get him to do anything these days (though bribing him with tractor videos on youtube is pretty effective too). His language is absolutely delectable. I almost lost it today after I'd cleaned up too much poop and dealt with too much screaming and didn't feel well and my hair is falling out (a whole other topic I won't get into right now) and I have a crapload of homework for my online class so I can renew my teaching lisence, etc. I started crying at one point when my damn phone wouldn't work and Remick was screaming instead of nursing. Makili looked at me and say, "Why are you crying, mama?" He totally knew I was upset, so he decided to help himself to some cereal (instead of bothering me even though he knew I wouldn't let him eat cereal for lunch) and spilled a bunch on the floor. Before I even knew what had happened, he was screaming, "I clean it up, mama! You no clean it up! I clean it up, mama." while putting as much cereal as could from the floor into his wet cup and then pouring it back into the cereal box. And boy, if that wasn't the greatest expression of sweetness.

Also, randomly he likes to tell us, "mama, we don't eat poop." We're really not sure what prompts this, and I try not to get too imaginative trying to figure it out.

Makili is really into passing the soccer ball back and forth these days too. He's pretty damn good with the soccer ball too. Nadine says she wants to invest in his soccer stardom now, since she's sure to amount to something someday. He likes to have a running start and kick it really hard. He is really into apologizing lately, so if he kicks it and it actually goes to your feet, he'll say "I'm sorry, mama." But if I'm talking to Raph or doing anything that slows down the progress of our game, he'll say, "Stop talking, mama." Eye on the prize. Keep your eye on the prize.

A lot to say about nothing. Yet these little things my kids do will someday add up to a childhood and then to a person, and I won't be able to remember them if I don't write them down, like I won't be able to remember Remick's little face smiling up at me like he does, and boy that just kills me.

A Quote I Like Today

"It is dire poverty indeed when a man is so malnourished and fatigued that he won't stoop to pick up a penny. But if you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since the world is in fact planted in pennies, you have with your poverty bought a lifetime of days. It is that simple. What you see is what you get."
Annie Dilliard from A Pilgrim at Tinker Creek.

Harry and Valentine

We had another impromptu Tobey Family Reunion this weekend at Larry's grandparents' house. This is them: Harry and Valentine. We saw the teeny-weeny Cape that they raised 10 kids in! 7 boys, 3 girls. (At this point I can stop whining about the size of my house with two kids. For a few minutes anyway.) I LOVE this picture because it looks old and modern all at the same time. Did they have style or what? I mean look at Harry's shirt! Anyway, so cool to hear Larry's aunts and uncles' stories about growing up there and imagining having that many kids in such a small space. Amazing.

Portland

We took a family trip to Portland recently, which involved a lot of stuff, and culminated in picking up an exchange student at the airport. We went to the Portland Narrow Gauge Railroad, which has received rave reviews. We really weren't that impressed, and on top of it, it was civil war reinactment day, which basically consisted of the following.

Two women in civil war garb were seated on the train with us (taking up lots of room in their giant dresses). When the train slowed down so as to begin heading back the same track we had come on, on of the ladies said to the other in a melodramatic voice, "Are there supposed to be men on the track today? Oh, no! Rebels!"

At which point, the men in garb jumped off the train and shot their muskets at each other for a while. This picture actually makes it look much more eventful than it was. One ran our direction and was "captured" by the guys on our train. The worst part was that the guns were REALLY loud and Remick did NOT like them and wailed the whole time. Not what I paid for. Makili liked the train though.

We also went to Crescent Beach STate Park, which was fairly nice, but Raph doesn't like sandy beaches (what a pain!) so he complained a bit. We went for a nice walk though and it was absolutely idyllic weather!




And then we went out for dinner at our favorite Maine vegetarian restaurant, stopped by the Children's Museum to burn some time! And then we picked up a total peach of an exchange student! It was a good day!

3 Months Blowing By.

My little guy turned 3 month old two days ago and it's taken me this long to get to this post. Life is busy!!! But good busy. Full. Kids, friends, gardening, work. That is about it! If only we could get sleep to figure a bit more prominently into that list, we'd be set.At 3 months, this guys is pretty sweet. He LOVES me! He spends endless amounts of time cooing and smiling at me. He is SO verbal. He will talk to himself in the back seat of the car for like 1/2 hour straight. He is generally an easy baby EXCEPT for sleeping. We had gotten to a good place where he'd sleep for 4-6 hours streches, but now we're back to waking every hour or more! Ouch. Not so much for nursing, just because he wakes up. And the thing about Remick is that though he's smily and cute half the time, he tends to be a wailing siren the rest. He wants things a specific way and won't stop wailing till you figure out that he wants to be swaddled, with a pacifier, left in the swing with the white noise on. Any variation on that recipe and he wails. So needless to say it takes a while sometimes to figure out what that recipe is, as it changes.
Remick very steadily holds his own head and likes to be sitting up (or standing) most of the time. He gets bored and likes to have new scenery (unless of course he's looking at me). He spends so much time looking at faces and taking things in, which is so different from Makili. I think Remick is going to be an earlier talker than Makili. I was telling Raph the other day that I think I could start signing to Remick now and he'd be signing back at 6 months.

Remick is in the heat of learning to use his hands. We picked up an exersaucer yesterday from Nadine's pre-yardsale and he's been digging the short periods of time he spends in there. And I don't think that I'm going to be as lucky with Remick and I was with Makili in terms of not putting things in his mouth. He already likes to have his hands in his mouth all the time, and yesterday he got a plastic bag in his hand when I was changing Makili's diaper and it went straight to his mouth. Uh Oh.

He still likes music and is generally soothed by listening to music, both at home and in the car.

He still tolerates his big brother's incessant doting admirably. I can't wait to see how thier relationship develops...

Just my everyday prettieness.

Just for you Dad!

I don't know what it is dad, but Makili likes you. Today we were playing with Mr. Potato head, and I asked him what the potato head's name was, and he thought for a second, while staring thoughtfully at this and said, "Opa!"And for some reason when we read Dr. Seuss's The Foot Book, every time we get to the page of the "fuzzy fur feet" he points and says, "Opa."

Hmmm....

Garden Reflections

My garden is something of an obsession. I love it. I spend a ton of time out there and love to watch things grow. This year has been something of a disappointment though in some aspects of the garden (not due at all to the fact that I was busy earlier this summer!) Our nasty month of June saw the demise of many plants. All that rain allowed the slugs a buffet of my recently sprouted seedlings. The flea beetles knocked out so many early greens and broccoli plants that it really irritated me a LOT. And then there was the whole case of tomato blight which knocked out all but two of the 50 plants we originally put in! And we bought some bigger blueberry bushes this year since the tiny one we planted last year are really about the same size and didn't even flower this year. We waited patiently for those berries to ripen, only to realize that they'd been swiped by some form of wildlife by the time they were ripe. Damn it.

But like all situations, there have been some highlights as well. We have 50 beautiful bulbs of garlic in the shed. And garlic happens to be my new favorite crop. The snow melted in the spring and the garlic was already out of the ground! We planted some onion seedlings (not sets) and leek seedlings that I got super cheap-o at the farmers' market and they have done FANTASTIC! Our tomatillos (never grown before) are incredibly cute - like paper lanterns for the spiders. We harvested a pretty good amount of potatoes that have been DELICIOUS. Our brussel sprouts look incredible. Our eggplants have been prolific and we've been enjoying quickly devoured trays of roasted eggplant out of the oven.

We planted strawberry plants this year and against all our instincts plucked the flowers to keep them from fruiting this summer, so that next summer we'll get more strawberries. But the crazy plants are still at it and we finally gave up and let them fruit. We've only eaten a few, but boy they were good! Hopefully next year we'll get a whole lot of love from them. Last year I put in some raspberry canes. We got a good handful this summer, but the most exciting thing is that the plants are FULL of fall raspberries. I can not wait for them to ripen! Our pear tree is full of pears that Makili couldn't reach.


And we've planted a whole bunch of new stuff in our greenhouse, hoping for a fall harvest!

Happy Birthday Daddy-O

We had a great time singing "Happy Birthday" to Raph yesterday. Makili is really into singing that at the moment. It was Raph's golden birthday. September 9, 2009 or 9/9/09! I even made him a cake! I really like this guy. It works out that we're stuck together in a super-human maga life bond (this was what he wrote on our wedding invitation) because he is great. I appreciate that he goes to work every day so that I can stay home and is still present enough after working with teenagers all day long to come home and have quality time us, playing basketball with Makili (another current fav), getting Remick to laugh (a new thing that is SO cute), or helping me with my projects (too many to count). I love that he wants to go to the beach on every opportunity, or be outside, and eat good food (though he certainly doesn't complain about a bag of Doritos), that he can fix my car most of the time. I love that we share values and visions about our future, that they are things we don't disagree about. I appreciate that he makes time for me to exercise (running over 3.5 miles at the moment!), holding a screaming baby if necessary. My life would be empty without him. So Happy Birthday Raph.

Beach fun with the Mastersons

We had a really nice afternoon at the beach with our new bffs, the Mastersons. George is the guy that got Raph his new job (though he denies this it's true.) They have three boys, who remind Raph of the Cesere brothers, who we lived with in Hawaii. They also recently bought my dreamhouse. They're pretty cool.

These Two

I'm pretty glad Makili is a good sleeper and has yet to wake up because of Remick's screaming. I'm pretty glad Remick came into this world not minding Makili's aggressive love, because Makili wants to kiss him and hug him and smother him with hugs all the time, especially when I'm holding him. When Remick was born, I had a terribly difficult time watching Makili adjust to Remick's new presence. It absolutely broke my heart to think about hurting him and in fact, the day of my sudden C-section, I HAD to drive home (and ended up being late) to hug Makili before it happened. I cried the whole way home about how I hadn't read to him the night before. And afterward, Makili did pretty well, but he did lose some of his normal joy for a while and it absolutely crushed me to watch and endure and not be able to fix. Thinking about it now makes me cry.
But we've come around the other side of that corner and I am so excited to watch these two grow up together, as brothers. My aunt Suzanne once told me that she was excited to raise sisters, and I now know how she felt. There does seem to be some magical bond between brothers (or sisters) that is exciting to watch unfold. It will be a joy of my life to watch how these two souls who are quite different already share this early part of their lives. And then I can hope it lasts.
They are different. Makili was an INTENSE baby, crying pretty much all the time until he was few months old, and then being fairly predictable and dare I say "easy?" He slept well from the moment he came home, never napped well, always ate well. He didn't seem very affected by noise or sound ever. As an infant he never seemed to care for me of anyone else in particular, except that I had the milk bags. Remick, on the other hand, came out mellow but has turned out to be a baby of extremes. He is either smiling and cooing endlessly or screaming his bloody head off! He is an unpredictable sleeper, though he has gotten a little better with the swing (last night sucked A LOT though). He loves me over anyone else and Raph frequently complains that he will do the exact same thing as me and get screams and I get smiles. He is far more sensitive to sound, looking for me as soon as he hears my voice, and loving music. Both these guys loved to be one the move, and swaddled. There were both so aware and alert very early. But I daresay from the getgo I feel their personalities are so different. I can't wait to see if my hunches are right...

So BUSY

I can barely find the time to update this blog any more. Though I am on the computer frequently, I'm usually nursing, and it is hard to type a post one handed. I have a lot to say too. My babies are growing and changing so fast, Raph started a new job, a new season is upon us and we've been on the move a lot. So much going on. Above are a few shots from summer with some of the people that we've been blessed to spend time with. Summer is winding down. I'm wearing fleece and sock and Raph is lighting the wood stove for the first time. Remick is wrapped in fleece too and sleeping sweetly while Makili runs his little wooden dump truck over his body. We sat on the beach this afternoon with friends, eating pizza as the sun went down. Good times.